To those who are done with church

BeachI have been reading recently about a new category of people in our society when it comes to religious participation. Beyond the nones (those who have no religion) a new growing category is the dones (those who still have faith but are done with going to church).

Interestingly I have also met a number of these dones recently, including a builder whose family no longer goes to church after being involved in too many church conflicts and some couples who have gotten over the same old experience of church week in week out that doesn’t really connect with them anymore. Apparently driving the emergence of those who still have faith but are done with church includes these kind of factors as well as feeling used in the weekly grind of ‘putting on church’, unchallenging sermons, a lack of real relationships and just the busyness of modern life. So a couple of comments…

1. Church can suck. Undoubtedly we in church leadership and the institution itself get so much wrong. Yes it can feel strange that we put so much effort and volunteer hours into putting on a service. Yes we can say insensitive things or use church jargon or favour certain people. We just get a lot wrong. Leadership is tough and particularly in a church setting where people are passionate about their faith, noses are going to get out of joint. So yes, to the dones, we need to listen better, show more wisdom and look at ways to do/be church and community better.

2. The local church needs you. In all of its flaws, the local church still is the hope of the world, and if we believe in the images of church painted in the New Testament, you are a vital part. You are a living stone God uses to dwell in, a member of the family, a valuable part of the body. The church can’t be a visible expression of the kingdom of God if everyone opts out. Yes we may find new ways of doing evangelism, discipleship and fellowship outside of the local church, but I still believe in the overwhelming benefits of committing to a local church community. And it needs you to play your part, help the weaker members, use your gifts, welcome spiritual seekers into community.

3. You need the local church. While you may be the exception that breaks the rule, you cannot walk the Christian faith well, alone. I personally love the local church because it is where I get to corporately worship God, have a regular spot in my busy week where I hear the scriptures and learn how to apply our faith. I like the fact that a diverse, odd, broken group of people come together to do some life together. You may not experience church like this, but you still need the local church. Without a local church, faith grows cold, motivation to connect with God will wane and the world may end up shaping you more than you shape the world.

These are just a few thoughts and I am sure it is more complex for many of the increasing numbers of people who are done with church. But I would say that many of the characteristics God wants to develop in you can only grow from being in a church, no matter who much it may disappoint you, hurt you or leave you feeling uninspired. And the flip side is that so many of the true joys of life come from doing life together. Hang in there!

4 thoughts on “To those who are done with church

  1. Asariels Muse says:

    I have always viewed the church as people not a place. I can’t seem to craft a response to this that isn’t far too long for a comment box. You’ve made some great points

  2. Eric Farrenkothen says:

    Perhaps they (and maybe all chruch goers) also need to answer the question:
    Do I go to this (or that) church because it is convenient or do I go there because I am called to?

  3. Farore Brown says:

    I don’t understand how any social gathering can benefit you if it hurts you, disappoints you and leaves you feeling uninspired. I’m all for finding the right church for you (I have been to a couple of good ones) but don’t go to one that leaves you feeling worthless. The first two points to this article simply say ‘Church can suck but it needs you’ so the only point that matters is the last one. If you need church, find a good one for you. Church is only a couple of hours a week for most people- the rest of their lives takes up the vast majority of their time, so if they can survive that well and good, what do two hours mean? I’m not going to attend a church that leaves me feeling horrible afterwards and negatively impacts my whole week before attending again. I’d want one that motivates me.

  4. Murray McKaska says:

    When my wife and I became empty-nesters about 6 years ago we began to prepare for our future. We downsized our house, and we assessed all the time and money commitments in our life. Over the years we had become terribly over-extended and it was the perfect time to close that chapter and begin a brand new one. So we resigned from all civic and volunteer positions, including church. We only have one weekly volunteer commitment on our schedule now, which we do together, and it’s wonderful. We made the healthiest choice for our lives and we couldn’t be happier as we rediscover our relationship as husband and wife, and recently as grandparents!

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